Arabic and Anal Sex

Today I was going to tell some bloggers important things about life, but then I thought I put it here.

Mica rugaminte! (Sergiu feat. Andrei)

I’ve recently discovered a Romanian song. I have a feeling I’ll be referring to it later, so I am posting it here together with its lyrics and Romanian translation.

the way we cheat

There is something weird about the way women cheat, something I can't figure out. Men know when they cheat, things are simple and obvious, though they might lie about. When women lie about it, they somehow seem to believe their own lies.

When men cheat, their only defense (and it actually works) is to deny it:

Women, on the other hand, might call you when you’re away to tell you that they’ve been “out”, but no matter what has happened, you are the one. They seem to genuinely believe that their cheating is different than yours and that when they can “give in” to another man while staying true to you, while you could never do that for them. I’ve never had this song sung to me, but at least once I had the feeling that it’s been implied: 

LOIS: Oh, Bill,
Why can't you behave?
Why can't you behave?
How in hell can you be jealous
When you know, baby, I'm your slave?
I'm just mad for you,
And I'll always be,
But naturally
If a custom-tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet,
When the vet begins to pet, I cry "Hooray!"
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I enjoy a tender pass
By the boss of Boston, Mass.,
Though his pass is middle-class and notta Backa Bay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a madman known as Mack
Who is planing to attack,
If his mad attack means a Cadillac, okay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I've been asked to have a meal
By a big tycoon in steel,
If the meal includes a deal, accept I may.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I could never curl my lip
To a dazzlin' diamond clip,
Though the clip meant "let 'er rip," I'd not say "Nay!"
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's an oil man known as Tex
Who is keen to give me checks,
And his checks, I fear, mean that sex is here to stay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From Ohio Mister Thorne
Calls me up from night 'til morn,
Mister Thorne once cornered corn and that ain't hay.
Aha!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From Milwaukee Mister Fritz
Often moves me to the Ritz,
Mister Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Harris, plutocrat,
Wants to give my cheek a pat,
If the Harris pat
Means a Paris hat,
Bébé, Oo-la-la!
Mais je suis toujour fidèle, darlin', in my fashion,
Oui, je suis toujour fidèle, darlin', in my way.

As a believer in freedom, I've never been a sucker for fidelity. I do appreciate honesty, however. How about you?

Sources / More info: flickr, yt-wasnt, yt-always

Cracanel, cheat, cheating, cheating heart, inselat, insela

sexting

I recently had an SMS conversation about sex with someone and I thought I'd better post it here, for the world to see. OK, not the whole world, but rather the 3-4 people who read this blog.

the OK song

I'm gonna plant a 90s song in your head. It's made mostly by Kevin Krakower aka Kevi, and his "band", 1000 Clowns, which I keep remembering (when I do) as 10000 Clowns. Big difference between 1K and 10K, though the song can still be found, together with the history of it all.

Funniest jokes in the world from RD

To be honest, not only that most jokes found by RD to be funniest were rather old, but I felt I know quite a few much funnier. Yet this is rather a confirmation / sign that my sense of humour is off-the-wall. Something I already knew. Recently, Readers Digest completed its top of the best jokes in the world. Though you might have already heard most of them already, here they are..

WINNER

SWEDEN
Visiting the countryside on a hunting trip, the well-dressed man from Stockholm takes aim and shoots a duck. But the fowl drops into a farmer's field, and the farmer claims it. Since both want it, the farmer suggests settling the dispute with an old fashioned hick-kick. "I kick you as hard as I can in the crotch, then you do the same to me," he explains. "Whoever screams the least gets the bird."
The city man agrees. So the farmer winds up and delivers a crushing blow to the man's privates, and he collapses to the ground. Twenty minutes later, when he finally manages to stand, he gasps, "My turn."
"Nah," says the farmer, turning away. "You can keep the duck."

RUNNERS UP
ARGENTINA
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. "It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists. "She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
AUSTRALIA
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a scotch and … Coke."
"Why the long pause?" asks the bartender.
"I don't know," says the bear. "I've always had them."
BRAZIL
Tired of waiting in the back of the line to get on Noah's Ark, a flea jumps from one animal to another as she moves closer to the front. She leaps and leaps until she lands on the back of an elephant. The pachyderm turns to its mate and says testily, "I knew it! Here they go with the pushing and shoving!"
CANADA
A man says to a friend, "My wife is on a three-week diet."
"Oh, yeah? How much has she lost so far?"
"Two weeks."

CHINA
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy. One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator. Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
CROATIA
A concerned police officer approaches a boy crying in front of a newsstand.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"Superman isn't out yet!"
"I'll handle it," the cop assures him. "Hey, Superman!" he shouts. "Come on out! We won't hurt you!"
CZECH REPUBLIC
A man calls a radio deejay and says, "I've found a wallet with a hundred thousand koruny inside. There's also a card that says ‘Jan Ziegler, Seifert Street 3, Prague.' " "So?" says the deejay. "What do you want us to do?"
"Would you be so kind as to play the man a song?"

FINLAND
Hannu wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night, he e-mails her but misspells the address and it goes to a recent widow. The next day, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this e-mail: "My darling wife, I've just gotten here and everything's set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip down here will be as pleasant as mine. "P.S. It's really hot!"
FRANCE
President Sarkozy visits a steel factory. To the boss's surprise, the president greets an employee, Morton, with a warm hug. The same thing happens when Barack Obama visits, and again during Vladimir Putin's tour. Unimpressed, the boss says to Morton, "I bet you don't know the pope."
Morton shrugs. "We play golf together."
The gauntlet has been tossed, and the boss pays their way to the Vatican. During the Benediction, Morton slips away. Sure enough, he reappears—side by side with the pope. Two Chinese tourists tap the boss on the shoulder and ask, "Who's the guy in white standing with Morton?"
GERMANY
Wandering around a fairgrounds, a man enters a fortune-teller's tent for a laugh. "I see you're the father of two," says the seer, gazing into her crystal ball. "Ha! That's what you think," says the man scornfully. "I'm the father of three."
"Ha!" says the fortune-teller. "That's what you think."

HUNGARY
Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: So your asthma disappeared completely?
Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod, and laptop have.
INDIA
A business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in the hospital. "Li kai yang qi guan," says the sick man feebly. The executive desperately wants to help him, but he doesn't speak Mandarin. "Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as he draws his last breath. Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of Li kai yang qi guan: "Get off my oxygen tube."
KOREA
A fortune-teller advised me, "Do everything your boss says." Sage advice, I thought, as I was working on an important project. As if I needed more proof of just how good the psychic was, that night, as I read the newspaper, I noticed my horoscope: "Do everything your boss says."
MEXICO
Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service. "Will the winter be bad?" he asks.
"Looks like it," is the answer.
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again. "Are you positive the winter will be very cold?" "Absolutely."
The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?" "I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."
"How do you know?"
"Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
NETHERLANDS
A starlet is seated next to a lawyer on a long flight. She craves her sleep, but he keeps waking her up. "Let's play a trivia game," he suggests. "If I answer wrong, I'll pay you $50. If you answer wrong, you owe me $5." The starlet agrees, and the lawyer goes first. "What's the distance between the earth and the moon?"
The starlet hands the lawyer $5. Now it's her turn. "What goes up a mountain on three legs and comes down on four?"
The lawyer is dumbstruck. He scans the Internet, flips through his pocket encyclopedia, and texts every scientist he can find. No dice. Hours later, he wakes up the starlet, hands her $50, and asks, "So what's the answer?" Without a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
NORWAY
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie. "You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish," the genie tells her.
"See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man," she says.
The genie agrees and—poof!—the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.
"Do you have anything to say before we make love?" she asks.
"Yes," he says. "I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week."
PHILIPPINES
Joe, Mike, Mary, and Tom were talking about their dream jobs. "I want to be a lawyer," Joe began, "so that I can defend my countrymen."
"I want to be a congressman," said Mike, "so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen."
"I want to be a doctor," said Mary, "so that I can cure my countrymen."
"How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?" asked Joe.
Tom thought a moment and replied, "I'd like to be a countryman."
POLAND
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, ‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
PORTUGAL
A man is visiting an old friend when a little girl races through the room.
"Diploma," the friend calls after her, "bring us two cups of coffee."
"Diploma? What an odd name," says the visitor. "How did she get it?"
The friend sighs. "I sent my daughter to study at the university in Lisbon, and that's what she came back with."
ROMANIA
Vlad gets pulled over after a high-speed car chase. "I'm going to help you out," says the police officer. "Give me a good excuse and I won't write you a ticket." "Three weeks ago, my wife left me for a cop," Vlad explains. "So when I saw your car coming, I thought you were trying to bring her back."
RUSSIA
Due to the recession, to save on energy costs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.
—God
SERBIA
A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. "What's the matter, honey?" she asks him. "It's my father," the boy sobs. "He hit his finger with a hammer."
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because first I laughed!"
SLOVENIA
As they leave the courthouse, a lawyer turns to his grim-looking client and says, "Janez, what's wrong? You were acquitted." "I know, but now I'm really in trouble," says Janez. "I just rented out my apartment for three years."
SPAIN
A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach with his hands out. "Please, señora," the poor man pleads, "I haven't eaten all day." "Good," says the grandmother. "Now you won't have to worry about cramps when you go for a swim."
SWITZERLAND
Wife: Honey, did you notice? I bought a new toilet brush.
Husband: Yes, I did. But I still prefer the paper.
TAIWAN
Papa Turtle is telling his son a bedtime story. "Once upon a time, there was a white bunny."
"Aw, c'mon, Dad," says the boy. "That's kid stuff. What about some science fiction?"
"All right. Once upon a time, there was a bunny in outer space …"
"Dad! Make it more grown-up."
"Okay, okay. Promise you won't tell Mom."
"I swear."
"Once upon a time, there was a naked bunny …"
THAILAND
"Hurry up or we'll be late!" shouts a teacher to her kindergarten class.
"What's the rush?" a tot asks coolly.
"If we're late, we'll miss your next class!" the teacher reminds him.
The kid shrugs. "If you're in such a hurry, go on without us."
UNITED KINGDOM
"About a month before he died, my grandmother covered my grandfather's back with lard. After that, he went downhill very quickly."
--Comic Milton Jones
UNITED STATES
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion." "I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's Holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him." They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision." --Submitted by Mitchell Hauser

How did RD choose these jokes? Good question.

In January, RD localized editions from around the world asked their readers to submit their favourite jokes, which were then trimmed to 10. Then readers voted the best. Hopefully, the elections weren’t stolen and / or run on Diebold machines.

In USA, the jury was comprised of:

• Sid Caesar: His 1950s TV hit, Your Show of Shows, introduced America to Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Neil Simon, and Woody Allen.
• Monty Hall: Television producer and host of Let’s Make a Deal.
• Arthur Hiller: Directed comedies like The In-Laws and Silver Streak.
• Rocky Kalish: Wrote for All in the Family, Maude, and Good Times.
• Hal Kanter: Bob Hope’s chief gag writer. Wrote Road to Bali for Hope and Bing Crosby.
• Gary Owens: The voice of Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.
• John Rappaport: Writer and producer for M*A*S*H.
• Matty Simmons: Founder of National Lampoon; producer of Animal House and Vacation.

Here are the top 10 clean jokes in the USA, chosen using a similar approach:

Winner: A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."
"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."
Submitted by Mitchell Hauser
Crime and Punishment
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
Submitted by Braeden Silvermist
Conflict
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb- blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
"You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
Submitted by Nancy Gomes

New Lease on Life
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle- aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. "Will I die?" she asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live," she complains. "That’s true," says God.
"So what happened?"
God shrugs. "I didn’t recognize you."
Submitted by Hank Chawansky
Vow of Silence
Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, "Food bad."
Ten years later, he says, "Bed hard."
It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, "I quit."
"I’m not surprised," the head monk says. "You’ve been complaining ever since you got here."
Submitted by Alan Lynch
Talking Dog
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued, he walks in.
"So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog.
"I’ve led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home."
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?"
The owner says, "Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!"
Submitted by Harry Nelson
Making Sure
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"
Submitted by Gerald Doka
Power of Perception
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don’t know. It all happened so fast."
Submitted by Debby Carter
Ghostly Music
A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. "What’s going on?" he asks a cemetery worker. "It’s Beethoven," says the worker. "He’s decomposing."
Submitted by Jeremy Hone
A Dog's Life
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. "My life is a mess," he says. "My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat."
"Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?" suggests the collie.
"I can’t," says the poodle. "I’m not allowed on the couch."
Submitted by L. B. Weinstein

As we know from Jean de Santeuil (not Moliere), castigat ridendo mores, which could be the slogan of Satire, Inc.

Sources / More info: rd-bj, rd-bj-ch, rd-t10-usa, rd bj @ scribd, flags from google

VerbaVolant, humour, humor, fun, joke, jokes, hilarious, hillarious, funny, ha-ha, collection, rd, readers digest, reders digest, reader's digest

Michael Jackson is dead – le Roi (du pop) est mort

..vive Madonna! Unfortunately, the news, initially brought to us by TMZ and disseminated like crazy by the twittersphere, are true. He died of a heart attack at 50 years old.

He passed away in the mansion the promoters of his new concert. The paramedics, called by a staff member, found him not breathing and all efforts to resuscitate him were in vain. He was 50 and was on some sort of medication which may have acted to end his life. Michael leaves behind 3 children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II. He was married to Elvis' daughter, Lisa-Marie.

I too was raped by Michael!

.. but I liked it and I did not sue. I used to be electrified by his music and dance moves up until about his Bad & Moowalking albums. I liked the music on the latter, but he was nowhere to be seen – he emerged later on completely changed. Nobody knows for sure if the children who accused him of sexual assault were honest or were just trying to scam money out of him, pushed by their parents. There is a strong possibility that he was (just) sleeping with them out of a desire for affection and in a futile attempt to live the childhood he never had. This is not a behavior one would expect from a man but his childhood was wasted in endless performances. Joe Jackson, his father, is accused by some of having been obsessed to make money. He once launched his signature beverage, Joe Cola, which you can see in one of Janet's videos. In addition, his Michael’s idol, Diana Ross, whom he tried to emulate, was a motherly person.

The concert in Bucharest or'92 is considered one of the most successful broadcast on HBO and had the best ratings of that network until then. Another significant milestone (other than, of course, Thriller) was his interview with Oprah at Neverland. When asked “are you a virgin?” Michael, visibly shaken, asked in his infantile voice: “Oprah, how can you ask such a question?”. Today, Oprah is the highest rated talk show, and an appearance on Oprah virtually guarantees mainstream acceptance, but back then, it wasn’t so clear who is launching whom.

Constantly assaulted by reporters, he once said:

Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, "I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight", people would say, "Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.

Paul McCartney

A few very good songs came out of the father – son collaboration between McCartney and Jackson. What few know is that Paul taught Michael how to profit from copyright by acquiring old songs and renting them out. Michael applied this knowledge to a few songs by Beatles and using them in ways that Paul did not approve. Their relationship soured and did not recover.

This is it

Known as “a millionaire who spends like a billionaire”, Michael had made huge debts. He was hoping to get back in black with the O2 - This is it concerts. His perfectionism and most likely fear of failure made him postpone them four times(!) He requested that his choir be racially equal. AEG Live, his promoter, had made a major investment, paying $5 millions to settle a lawsuit with a Bahrein prince. His concerts would've brought AEG Live $70 millions and would have kickstarted a 3 year international collaboration. 750,000 tickets at prices starting at $81 per bilet had already been sold

Condolences

His death touched quite a few celebrities:

Arnold Schwarzenegger: We lost a great entertainer and a pop icon. My thoughts and prayers go out to Michael Jackson's family, friends and fans.

Diddy: Michael Jackson showed me that you can actually see the beat. He made the music come to life!! He made me believe in magic. I will miss him!

Samantha Ronson: His music is just as relevant now as it was the day they pressed record, I'm sure it will remain so for generations to come.R.I.P.Mr Jackson.

Dane Cook: I'm dedicating my show 2night to Michael Jackson. THRILLER got me laid. Well... At least thats what I told my friends.

Heidi Montag: the world has suffered a GREAT loss today Michael Jackson my thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends, and fans God bless.

Ice T: Rest In Peace Mike. People can say what they want but you were 100% original. WE will always love , miss & remember your GREATNESS.

John Mayer: Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ. I think we'll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to Thriller on the record player.

Ashley Tisdale: So sad. Saying a prayer for Michael Jackson.

Miley Cyrus: michael jackson was my inspiration. love and blessings

Ludacris: If it were not for Micheal Jackson I would not be where or who I am today.His Music and Legacy will live on Forever.Prayers to the famR.I.P.

MC Hammer: I have no words.. I loved Michael Jackson.. RIP..

Kelly Rowland: Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!! We thank you for such a driving inspiration in music & our lives!! This has got to be one of the saddest days in music history!! Michael Rest In Peace! WE miss you!

Star Jones: Death comes to all. But great achievements build a monument." He IS and WAS the greatest entertainer of all times...Peace to you brother.

Lindsay Lohan: NO OMG ... sending my love and prayers out to Michael and his family ... i feel sick..

Marlon Wayans: My prayers, my love, my heart goes out to michael jackson and the entire jackson family. I pray so hard for them. I'm crushed! Please pray.

Pete Wentz: Prayers and thoughts with michael jackson ... I haven't hope in so long that news isn't true.

Kim Kardashian: Wow I am truly in shock that Michael Jackson has passed away! I love u Jackson family, my prayers are with the whole family!

Ashton Kutcher: Rip Sending love and light to family and friend but especially his kids.

Shanna Moakler: The hard thing about getting older is watching all those who inspired you pass, love to the jackson family..

Rachelle Lefevre: Rest in peace Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson. Condolences to their families.

Paul McCartney: It’s so sad and shocking. I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy-man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones.

Eugene Lambert (Ireland's best puppeteer whose son performed at J's b-day party): Michael and the kids seemed to enjoy the show equally. My son sang happy birthday to Michael, who seemed genuinely touched by the attention. Michael rang me that night to thank me for the show. He said he hoped he’d be as happy at his work as I am at my age, and of course I’m 80.

Lenny Kravitz: It was the most amazing experience I’ve had in the studio. He was funny. Very funny and we laughed the whole time. I also saw what a beautiful father he was. He was a beautiful human being. If not for him, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. He gave me joy as a child and showed me the way to go..

Byron Garcia (security consultant at a Philippine prison who organized the famous video of 1,500 inmates doing a synchronized dance to “Thriller”, gathering 23.4 million hits): My heart is heavy because my idol died.

Imelda Marcos: Michael Jackson enriched our lives, made us happy. The accusations, the persecution caused him so much financial and mental anguish. He was vindicated in court, but the battle took his life. There is probably a lesson here for all of us.

Whatever some might think or say about him, he was undeniably an innovator, he influenced many artists and at the top of his career has simply the best. I hope that in his everlasting Neverland he’s no longer taunted by his own demons or cocky reporters..

Sources / More info: wikipedia (RO), wikipedia (EN), google news, rolling stones, yt

Michael Jackson: Live in Bucharest - The Dangerous Tour (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

Jackson, Michael: Video Greatest Hits: History (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

Jackson, Michael: Number Ones (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

1969-2004: Ultimate Collection [Best of] [Box set] (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

Verba Volant,jackson, jacksons, michael, mort, jacksons 5, jacksons five, jackson 5, another one bites the dust, rip, r.i.p., requiescat in pace, rest in peace, obituar, obituary, infarct, heart attack, cardiac arest, atac de inima, atac de cord, pr, neverland, odihneasca-se in pace, michael jackson mort, wacko jacko, jacko, youtube, videos, video clips, documentary, documentare

Yo DUB, B gd 2 me!

Every now and then, when my 80s cravings strike, I remember one of the best one hit wonders to have ever hit my ears, infecting me with the dance bug, modifying my DNA and significantly improving my music taste buds.

Mad Men Season 4, Public Relations notes

Seasons 4 has finally started in AMC - Matthew Weiner saga and here is how it went. I cannot embed the whole video clip, just a li'l somethin-something.

The common theme of this first episode is that it’s all about Don Draper, who is slowly (but in discrete milestones) learning to shed his modesty and his desire to conceal his fraudulent persona.

A Times interview with Da Mon is only appropriate:

I will continue with my notes, though I might add a commentary at a later date.

“i’m from the MidWest. we were taught that it’s not ok to talk about yourself.”

“crisp and engaging portraiture painting”

“I’d love to bend your ear when I’m finished with my book”

meeting – McCan clients - “I don’t know who’s the client here” – 2 pc bathing suit – we’re a family company

“did you tell him about the 2nd floor? – i refuse to be any part of that charade”

lack of conference table - “demands a conversation”

“creatively, Y&R is not capable of living in this neighborhood [downtown, expensive]. you know why? because YOU are not working there”

-- idea about buying turkey ham --

$25 for actors to get in the Daily News “we can’t charge them for it”

get him to Bethany - “you hit it off, come Turkey Day maybe you can stuff her”

sterling gets him to see 25 yo super (numerary) at the Opera. chicken kiev. “they make you wear a bib”

“i’m breaking a lot of my rules seeing a divorced man. but Jane has made you a personal cause.” - “and there were so many real problems in the world”

he kisses her but breaks just when she wanted more – then she keeps the distance

“all in all, not a bad way to spend a Sunday” - “get my an aspirin”

jailai TV commercial sold to abc “I wish we had a 2nd floor so i can jump off it”

turning creative success into business IS your work; and you’ve failed.

dinner scene – thanksgiving –

“the trafic was murder” “that’s because that’s what’s become of this country: everyone has two thanksgivings to go to” “maybe we have twice as much to be thankful for”

hooker scene – harder – again

peggy needs bailout money – they pressed charges against each other (+100 each to keep mouth shot)

when r u moving out? – “it’s only temporary” – believe me, everyone thinks that it is” - “he’s right”

“the image is where you left it” – I don’t need you at that meeting – now you’re being spiteful – no, i just think it would be better not to have a girl in the room

“you know smthg? we are all here because of you. all we wanna do is please you.”

i’ve raised children in my life henry – they’re terrified of her. i know what you see in her and you could’ve gotten it without marrying. she’s a silly woman. honestly, henry, i don’t know how you can stand living in that man’s dirt.

so well built, we can’t show you the second floor. – i think that’s a little suggestive.

damage control

overcomes his reluctance to sell himself in interview with WSJ

Sources / More info: amc, bravo, time, time-10q, time-t10-miss, chat-ep-1, photo-s4, banana-casting-call

VerbaVolant, mad men fad fan, mad men, season 4, s4

puttycat fail archive

Sometimes, when dealing with an apparently normal person, we might tend to forget the full complexity of their personality. If your engagement with the said person is unilateral, as it is usually the case with a public persona, you don't need to know more than what they publish or allow to be published in the public sphere. If, however, you engage with someone on a more personal level, sometimes you need to remind yourself of who you're dealing with..

About Us as a FAQ

If you've got questions for Cracanel, we've got answers!

1. What should I expect to find here?
2. I would like to contribute!
3. How can I contact you?
4. Why on Blogger / Blogspot?
5. Do you accept ads / commercials / donations?
6. What template are you using and how did you modify it?
7. Why are you not more forgiving with newbies?
8. I'd like to exchange links with you!
9. Logo & Banners

What should I expect to find here?

Irreverent, irresponsible, iconoclast, borderline, fringe, unconventional and underground crap. If you are easily offended, it’s better to look elsewhere for sweet nothings or comfort food.

I would like to contribute!

..and we'd LOVE to hear from you! Please complete the form, including a sample of your writing or email us.

How can I contact you?

Leave a comment to this page, email us at cracanelus at gmail dot com or complete the form.

Why on Blogger / Blogspot?

Started initially as a personal project on Wordpress, this site was transitioned to Blogger / Blogspot as it better fits the collaborative / hands-off paradigm that its Fathers, Cracanel and Indelible Bonobo envisioned. We also feel that this is the best and easiest platform to publish on.

Do you accept ads / commercials / donations?

We don’t really need financial incentives to speak our minds. For this reason, we are not in a big hurry to implement ads. We will most likely add AdSense or others later on, as we feel this is the best way to compensate Google for offering us all these amazing publishing tools for free (i.e., expanding their ad network). If you have a commercial proposition, please use emai. However, we are not interested in pyramid / get rich quick schemes, so please don’t waste our time with crap.

What template are you using and how did you modify it?

We don’t want to attract traffic with such tips. For technical questions please try BlogIdol. OTOH, the template we’re using, EboNeo, is released under a CC SA license. To comply with this license, to maintain our sanity and as a service to the community, we keep our ChangeLog and ToDo list in a big document which is public and viewable below. Any technical questions will be answered in this document. Please ask questions via comments – questions asked in any other way will be ignored.

Why are you not more forgiving with newbies?

This blog is not technical. There are numerous blogs / forums / websites dedicated to technical stuff. We actively discourage this topic. However, for compliance with the terms of our template and also as a general service to our community we are happy to share our tips and experience in web-publishing. Please do not expect quick responses to technical questions - it's not in our nature.

I'd like to exchange links with you!

We are glad to reciprocate! Please insert a link to us, complete the form above in question 3 and we'll add you in our blogroll. We aim to do so within 36 hours but if for some reason we haven't, kindly remind us with an email.

Logo / Banners

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why you're still single and what to do about it

Recently, I came across an article about a woman's attempts to date successfully at 41. There's some advice from a "dating coach" that anyone could use.

the breakup game

I’ve have never been good at saying good-bye of any kind, including funerals. And as a consequence, I have also avoided playing the break-up game as much as I could.

average people, average lies

Many years ago, in the current gallaxy, a book purporting to show a male’s inner thoughts was published. ‘twas called The Average American Male: A Novel and it sold well. Though in this age of suffocating political correctness I had expected to find numerous echoes, this was not the case. Now that the sequel was published, let us have a quick look at all the hoopla and videos.

Zamolxe told me in a comment that my language might be NSFW. Bollocks, I say!

Sure, I like to tell it like it is. But so does most other male, sick and disgusted of having to play a role he hates, only to get by, to avoid ending up in jail or to get laid. We’re all dawgs, it seems, and we need to pretend we’re not in order to please our biatches.

When, a while back, I revisited the old book of truth, I found it difficult to believe that it is one of the very few books transforming truth into entertainment in such a manner. Should I be surprised though, considering that only a few decades ago the Diceman was banned for life from MTV and there were feminist demonstrations against him?!

So what does the “average american male” think, really? Here’s a sample:

The one good thing you can always count on at Century City, and any place in this fucking city for that matter, is that there will always be a shitload of hot bitches with perfect bodies walking around. As chance would have it, I’m staring at one when my girlfriend says, “Do you wish I looked like that?”

I wonder if the three hours I’ve spent looking at shoes and other gay shit could possibly earn me one second of honesty with Casey. Probably not. Instead of answering her, I just look up at nothing in particular and say, “Do you smell pizza? I’m hungry.”

You get the idea. What really surprises me is not so much that such a book is being sold, but the implication that there may be women who do not know this, and even more frightening, that there may be men who do not know this. How did we get here?

...

Back in the 80s, two New York women, tired of looking for men like the Russians in Moscow, wrote a book on how to get a men by following a few “rules” and pretending you’re someone you’re not. They called it “The Rules” and it became an instant success. Most rules dealt with important things such as how long to wait before calling him back, or how many dates to withhold sex before “allowing” for it. Men waited about a decade before coming up with their own rules, crystallized in the “alt.seduction” community.

And things went on like this for another decade..

In the old times parents arranged marriages and adolescents were angry at parents for a while, but proceeded to make babies and went on with their lives. Today, we were led to believe in free will and that “love and respect should be the foundation of a marriage”. As a result, we either divorce shortly after marriage (as more than 50% of marriages end) or don’t get married at all. More and more people discovers “the joys of being single” and live miserable lives as a result. They’re still angry at their parents.

Like Dr King before him, xkcd had once a Beautiful Dream:

But maybe all this crap is for the better. People have started exploring “alternative lifestyles”, like polyamory, which is a way to make unhappy more than one person..

Sources / More info: zamo-test, av-am-male, lie-inside, avam-inside, dirty sanchez, i-m-bitch, golddiggers-la, rdt-single, evo-poster, yt-av-am

Cracanel, average american male, men are from mars, sex wars, sexwars, communication, war of the roses, sexism, chauvinism, male, female, dawg, biatch

security

derping around on tubes I found an interesting comment, which brought back memories of Rimbaud..

Daul Kim – the penetrable beauty

Daul Kim, Karl Lagerfeld muse, has passed away. Requiescat In Pace, Daul!

I wish I could tell you why she did it, but I don’t know. The best I can do is try to figure it out and speculate. Her death reminds me of Ruslana Korshunova’s suicide, who was also beautiful beyond belief yet empty inside, suffered from depression and apparently chose to end her life.

There are some troubling circumstances surrounding Ruslana’s death. Her family raised questions but the police was unwilling to oblige. Her hair had suddenly become shorter, and her body was not where it would have ended up after a fall from her apartment.

Daul Kim’s death is however more likely a suicide. She is the 9th Korean celebrity to commit suicide this year. She was fascinated by kinky Klaus Kinski (the deliciously crazy German actor) and collected forks as a hobby. She was also a painter. But despite these outlets, she felt a void in her existence. She had quit school at 15.

As far back as 2007 she had left often violent posts of self angst related to self-mutilation and suicide and, exhausted in April 2007, had posted “I am going to smash my face… My life as daul was so miserable and lonely. Please join my loneliness in another world. I love you all. Daul.” She then added. “KIDDING. I'm fine. Just tired.”

Find a playlist with the soundtrack to her death below.

Sources / More info: telegraph, wiki-daul, wiki-ruslana, blog, yt-ruslana, yt-music, yt-daul

.

VerbaVolant, model, models, modeling, modelling, ruslana, daul, daul kim, ruslana korshunova, suicide, murder, mdk, beauty, inxs, michael hutchence, michael hutchense

music can never get old

That's because, obviously, we have covers. Good songs cannot be out of the public eye and ear for more long because someone will take them and make them theirs through their own interpretation.

Each cover song I love deserve its very own spot, separate from the rest. Unfortunately, that would cause this page to load too slowly, so I put them all in the playlist below. Do not despair though, for you can navigate it by either pressing the big arrows to the left and right or, alternatively, clicking on the video clip thumbnails at the bottom.

What do we have?

Well, we have quite a few ABBA songs, remixed by Mad Caddies (SOS), Arno (Knowing me, Knowing You) and even Reel Big Fish’s A-ha (Take on Me). Then there’s Milkshake, covered by Buddy and Goodnight Nurse, Oops! I did it again in Children of Bodom’s interpretation. It’s hard to pick from Marilyn Manson’s covers, but I liked his “Tainted Love”. Same goes for Bohemian Rhapsody in The Braids’ version, or Neutral Milk Hotel’s cover of John Lennon’s Mother.

I particularly enjoyed Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill as covered by both Placebo and Within Temptation.

I am still not sure if I’ll add Johnny Cash covers from his very last album – they seem somehow way too personal. What I am sure of is that this list will most likely keep on growing, as I add more innovative, impactful covers.

Sources / More info: flickr, yt-covers

VerbaVolant, music, muzak, musica, muzica, video, videoclip, video clip, playlist

Lisa Kennedy Montgomerry

It's not just that her name is annoyingly long, she is easily the most annoying 40-50 y.o. on the face of the Earth. And that says a lot..

George Michael ain't no spider

I recently learned about a University of Toronto study about spider love. It got me thinking...

A recent study done by Maydianne Andrade and Jeffrey Stoltz of the University of Toronto found that some ugly Australian spider female will devour the male after copulation UNLESS the male courts her first for 100 minutes.

I couldn’t help thinking of George Michael and his “Fast Love” song. He’d never make it as a spider..

I think what women do - suing for sexual assault - is far more civilised

But if you’re looking for fastlove If that’s love in your eyes It’s more than enough Had some bad luck So fastlove is all that I’ve got On my mind

Maybe no fastlove 4 George, but the Black Widow could be turned on by his performance; that’s why I added more songs to the playlist above. Or – who knows? – George will save his life by swinging the other way, leaving the Black Widow completely unfulfilled..

Sources / More info: Andrade-Lab, yt

zamo, spider, spiders, spiderweb, sex, mating, black widow, blackwidow, love, fast love, fastlove, luv