Mica rugaminte! (Sergiu feat. Andrei)

I’ve recently discovered a Romanian song. I have a feeling I’ll be referring to it later, so I am posting it here together with its lyrics and Romanian translation.

Funniest jokes in the world from RD

To be honest, not only that most jokes found by RD to be funniest were rather old, but I felt I know quite a few much funnier. Yet this is rather a confirmation / sign that my sense of humour is off-the-wall. Something I already knew. Recently, Readers Digest completed its top of the best jokes in the world. Though you might have already heard most of them already, here they are..

WINNER

SWEDEN
Visiting the countryside on a hunting trip, the well-dressed man from Stockholm takes aim and shoots a duck. But the fowl drops into a farmer's field, and the farmer claims it. Since both want it, the farmer suggests settling the dispute with an old fashioned hick-kick. "I kick you as hard as I can in the crotch, then you do the same to me," he explains. "Whoever screams the least gets the bird."
The city man agrees. So the farmer winds up and delivers a crushing blow to the man's privates, and he collapses to the ground. Twenty minutes later, when he finally manages to stand, he gasps, "My turn."
"Nah," says the farmer, turning away. "You can keep the duck."

RUNNERS UP
ARGENTINA
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. "It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists. "She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
AUSTRALIA
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a scotch and … Coke."
"Why the long pause?" asks the bartender.
"I don't know," says the bear. "I've always had them."
BRAZIL
Tired of waiting in the back of the line to get on Noah's Ark, a flea jumps from one animal to another as she moves closer to the front. She leaps and leaps until she lands on the back of an elephant. The pachyderm turns to its mate and says testily, "I knew it! Here they go with the pushing and shoving!"
CANADA
A man says to a friend, "My wife is on a three-week diet."
"Oh, yeah? How much has she lost so far?"
"Two weeks."

CHINA
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy. One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator. Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
CROATIA
A concerned police officer approaches a boy crying in front of a newsstand.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"Superman isn't out yet!"
"I'll handle it," the cop assures him. "Hey, Superman!" he shouts. "Come on out! We won't hurt you!"
CZECH REPUBLIC
A man calls a radio deejay and says, "I've found a wallet with a hundred thousand koruny inside. There's also a card that says ‘Jan Ziegler, Seifert Street 3, Prague.' " "So?" says the deejay. "What do you want us to do?"
"Would you be so kind as to play the man a song?"

FINLAND
Hannu wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night, he e-mails her but misspells the address and it goes to a recent widow. The next day, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this e-mail: "My darling wife, I've just gotten here and everything's set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip down here will be as pleasant as mine. "P.S. It's really hot!"
FRANCE
President Sarkozy visits a steel factory. To the boss's surprise, the president greets an employee, Morton, with a warm hug. The same thing happens when Barack Obama visits, and again during Vladimir Putin's tour. Unimpressed, the boss says to Morton, "I bet you don't know the pope."
Morton shrugs. "We play golf together."
The gauntlet has been tossed, and the boss pays their way to the Vatican. During the Benediction, Morton slips away. Sure enough, he reappears—side by side with the pope. Two Chinese tourists tap the boss on the shoulder and ask, "Who's the guy in white standing with Morton?"
GERMANY
Wandering around a fairgrounds, a man enters a fortune-teller's tent for a laugh. "I see you're the father of two," says the seer, gazing into her crystal ball. "Ha! That's what you think," says the man scornfully. "I'm the father of three."
"Ha!" says the fortune-teller. "That's what you think."

HUNGARY
Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: So your asthma disappeared completely?
Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod, and laptop have.
INDIA
A business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in the hospital. "Li kai yang qi guan," says the sick man feebly. The executive desperately wants to help him, but he doesn't speak Mandarin. "Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as he draws his last breath. Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of Li kai yang qi guan: "Get off my oxygen tube."
KOREA
A fortune-teller advised me, "Do everything your boss says." Sage advice, I thought, as I was working on an important project. As if I needed more proof of just how good the psychic was, that night, as I read the newspaper, I noticed my horoscope: "Do everything your boss says."
MEXICO
Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service. "Will the winter be bad?" he asks.
"Looks like it," is the answer.
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again. "Are you positive the winter will be very cold?" "Absolutely."
The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?" "I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."
"How do you know?"
"Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
NETHERLANDS
A starlet is seated next to a lawyer on a long flight. She craves her sleep, but he keeps waking her up. "Let's play a trivia game," he suggests. "If I answer wrong, I'll pay you $50. If you answer wrong, you owe me $5." The starlet agrees, and the lawyer goes first. "What's the distance between the earth and the moon?"
The starlet hands the lawyer $5. Now it's her turn. "What goes up a mountain on three legs and comes down on four?"
The lawyer is dumbstruck. He scans the Internet, flips through his pocket encyclopedia, and texts every scientist he can find. No dice. Hours later, he wakes up the starlet, hands her $50, and asks, "So what's the answer?" Without a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
NORWAY
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie. "You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish," the genie tells her.
"See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man," she says.
The genie agrees and—poof!—the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.
"Do you have anything to say before we make love?" she asks.
"Yes," he says. "I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week."
PHILIPPINES
Joe, Mike, Mary, and Tom were talking about their dream jobs. "I want to be a lawyer," Joe began, "so that I can defend my countrymen."
"I want to be a congressman," said Mike, "so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen."
"I want to be a doctor," said Mary, "so that I can cure my countrymen."
"How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?" asked Joe.
Tom thought a moment and replied, "I'd like to be a countryman."
POLAND
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, ‘Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
PORTUGAL
A man is visiting an old friend when a little girl races through the room.
"Diploma," the friend calls after her, "bring us two cups of coffee."
"Diploma? What an odd name," says the visitor. "How did she get it?"
The friend sighs. "I sent my daughter to study at the university in Lisbon, and that's what she came back with."
ROMANIA
Vlad gets pulled over after a high-speed car chase. "I'm going to help you out," says the police officer. "Give me a good excuse and I won't write you a ticket." "Three weeks ago, my wife left me for a cop," Vlad explains. "So when I saw your car coming, I thought you were trying to bring her back."
RUSSIA
Due to the recession, to save on energy costs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.
—God
SERBIA
A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. "What's the matter, honey?" she asks him. "It's my father," the boy sobs. "He hit his finger with a hammer."
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because first I laughed!"
SLOVENIA
As they leave the courthouse, a lawyer turns to his grim-looking client and says, "Janez, what's wrong? You were acquitted." "I know, but now I'm really in trouble," says Janez. "I just rented out my apartment for three years."
SPAIN
A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach with his hands out. "Please, señora," the poor man pleads, "I haven't eaten all day." "Good," says the grandmother. "Now you won't have to worry about cramps when you go for a swim."
SWITZERLAND
Wife: Honey, did you notice? I bought a new toilet brush.
Husband: Yes, I did. But I still prefer the paper.
TAIWAN
Papa Turtle is telling his son a bedtime story. "Once upon a time, there was a white bunny."
"Aw, c'mon, Dad," says the boy. "That's kid stuff. What about some science fiction?"
"All right. Once upon a time, there was a bunny in outer space …"
"Dad! Make it more grown-up."
"Okay, okay. Promise you won't tell Mom."
"I swear."
"Once upon a time, there was a naked bunny …"
THAILAND
"Hurry up or we'll be late!" shouts a teacher to her kindergarten class.
"What's the rush?" a tot asks coolly.
"If we're late, we'll miss your next class!" the teacher reminds him.
The kid shrugs. "If you're in such a hurry, go on without us."
UNITED KINGDOM
"About a month before he died, my grandmother covered my grandfather's back with lard. After that, he went downhill very quickly."
--Comic Milton Jones
UNITED STATES
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion." "I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's Holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him." They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision." --Submitted by Mitchell Hauser

How did RD choose these jokes? Good question.

In January, RD localized editions from around the world asked their readers to submit their favourite jokes, which were then trimmed to 10. Then readers voted the best. Hopefully, the elections weren’t stolen and / or run on Diebold machines.

In USA, the jury was comprised of:

• Sid Caesar: His 1950s TV hit, Your Show of Shows, introduced America to Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Neil Simon, and Woody Allen.
• Monty Hall: Television producer and host of Let’s Make a Deal.
• Arthur Hiller: Directed comedies like The In-Laws and Silver Streak.
• Rocky Kalish: Wrote for All in the Family, Maude, and Good Times.
• Hal Kanter: Bob Hope’s chief gag writer. Wrote Road to Bali for Hope and Bing Crosby.
• Gary Owens: The voice of Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.
• John Rappaport: Writer and producer for M*A*S*H.
• Matty Simmons: Founder of National Lampoon; producer of Animal House and Vacation.

Here are the top 10 clean jokes in the USA, chosen using a similar approach:

Winner: A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."
"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."
Submitted by Mitchell Hauser
Crime and Punishment
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
Submitted by Braeden Silvermist
Conflict
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb- blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
"You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
Submitted by Nancy Gomes

New Lease on Life
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle- aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. "Will I die?" she asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live," she complains. "That’s true," says God.
"So what happened?"
God shrugs. "I didn’t recognize you."
Submitted by Hank Chawansky
Vow of Silence
Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, "Food bad."
Ten years later, he says, "Bed hard."
It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, "I quit."
"I’m not surprised," the head monk says. "You’ve been complaining ever since you got here."
Submitted by Alan Lynch
Talking Dog
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued, he walks in.
"So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog.
"I’ve led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home."
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?"
The owner says, "Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!"
Submitted by Harry Nelson
Making Sure
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"
Submitted by Gerald Doka
Power of Perception
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don’t know. It all happened so fast."
Submitted by Debby Carter
Ghostly Music
A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. "What’s going on?" he asks a cemetery worker. "It’s Beethoven," says the worker. "He’s decomposing."
Submitted by Jeremy Hone
A Dog's Life
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. "My life is a mess," he says. "My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat."
"Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?" suggests the collie.
"I can’t," says the poodle. "I’m not allowed on the couch."
Submitted by L. B. Weinstein

As we know from Jean de Santeuil (not Moliere), castigat ridendo mores, which could be the slogan of Satire, Inc.

Sources / More info: rd-bj, rd-bj-ch, rd-t10-usa, rd bj @ scribd, flags from google

VerbaVolant, humour, humor, fun, joke, jokes, hilarious, hillarious, funny, ha-ha, collection, rd, readers digest, reders digest, reader's digest

Michael Jackson is dead – le Roi (du pop) est mort

..vive Madonna! Unfortunately, the news, initially brought to us by TMZ and disseminated like crazy by the twittersphere, are true. He died of a heart attack at 50 years old.

He passed away in the mansion the promoters of his new concert. The paramedics, called by a staff member, found him not breathing and all efforts to resuscitate him were in vain. He was 50 and was on some sort of medication which may have acted to end his life. Michael leaves behind 3 children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II. He was married to Elvis' daughter, Lisa-Marie.

I too was raped by Michael!

.. but I liked it and I did not sue. I used to be electrified by his music and dance moves up until about his Bad & Moowalking albums. I liked the music on the latter, but he was nowhere to be seen – he emerged later on completely changed. Nobody knows for sure if the children who accused him of sexual assault were honest or were just trying to scam money out of him, pushed by their parents. There is a strong possibility that he was (just) sleeping with them out of a desire for affection and in a futile attempt to live the childhood he never had. This is not a behavior one would expect from a man but his childhood was wasted in endless performances. Joe Jackson, his father, is accused by some of having been obsessed to make money. He once launched his signature beverage, Joe Cola, which you can see in one of Janet's videos. In addition, his Michael’s idol, Diana Ross, whom he tried to emulate, was a motherly person.

The concert in Bucharest or'92 is considered one of the most successful broadcast on HBO and had the best ratings of that network until then. Another significant milestone (other than, of course, Thriller) was his interview with Oprah at Neverland. When asked “are you a virgin?” Michael, visibly shaken, asked in his infantile voice: “Oprah, how can you ask such a question?”. Today, Oprah is the highest rated talk show, and an appearance on Oprah virtually guarantees mainstream acceptance, but back then, it wasn’t so clear who is launching whom.

Constantly assaulted by reporters, he once said:

Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, "I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight", people would say, "Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.

Paul McCartney

A few very good songs came out of the father – son collaboration between McCartney and Jackson. What few know is that Paul taught Michael how to profit from copyright by acquiring old songs and renting them out. Michael applied this knowledge to a few songs by Beatles and using them in ways that Paul did not approve. Their relationship soured and did not recover.

This is it

Known as “a millionaire who spends like a billionaire”, Michael had made huge debts. He was hoping to get back in black with the O2 - This is it concerts. His perfectionism and most likely fear of failure made him postpone them four times(!) He requested that his choir be racially equal. AEG Live, his promoter, had made a major investment, paying $5 millions to settle a lawsuit with a Bahrein prince. His concerts would've brought AEG Live $70 millions and would have kickstarted a 3 year international collaboration. 750,000 tickets at prices starting at $81 per bilet had already been sold

Condolences

His death touched quite a few celebrities:

Arnold Schwarzenegger: We lost a great entertainer and a pop icon. My thoughts and prayers go out to Michael Jackson's family, friends and fans.

Diddy: Michael Jackson showed me that you can actually see the beat. He made the music come to life!! He made me believe in magic. I will miss him!

Samantha Ronson: His music is just as relevant now as it was the day they pressed record, I'm sure it will remain so for generations to come.R.I.P.Mr Jackson.

Dane Cook: I'm dedicating my show 2night to Michael Jackson. THRILLER got me laid. Well... At least thats what I told my friends.

Heidi Montag: the world has suffered a GREAT loss today Michael Jackson my thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends, and fans God bless.

Ice T: Rest In Peace Mike. People can say what they want but you were 100% original. WE will always love , miss & remember your GREATNESS.

John Mayer: Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ. I think we'll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to Thriller on the record player.

Ashley Tisdale: So sad. Saying a prayer for Michael Jackson.

Miley Cyrus: michael jackson was my inspiration. love and blessings

Ludacris: If it were not for Micheal Jackson I would not be where or who I am today.His Music and Legacy will live on Forever.Prayers to the famR.I.P.

MC Hammer: I have no words.. I loved Michael Jackson.. RIP..

Kelly Rowland: Michael you left such a legacy on this earth, have touched SO MANY!!! We thank you for such a driving inspiration in music & our lives!! This has got to be one of the saddest days in music history!! Michael Rest In Peace! WE miss you!

Star Jones: Death comes to all. But great achievements build a monument." He IS and WAS the greatest entertainer of all times...Peace to you brother.

Lindsay Lohan: NO OMG ... sending my love and prayers out to Michael and his family ... i feel sick..

Marlon Wayans: My prayers, my love, my heart goes out to michael jackson and the entire jackson family. I pray so hard for them. I'm crushed! Please pray.

Pete Wentz: Prayers and thoughts with michael jackson ... I haven't hope in so long that news isn't true.

Kim Kardashian: Wow I am truly in shock that Michael Jackson has passed away! I love u Jackson family, my prayers are with the whole family!

Ashton Kutcher: Rip Sending love and light to family and friend but especially his kids.

Shanna Moakler: The hard thing about getting older is watching all those who inspired you pass, love to the jackson family..

Rachelle Lefevre: Rest in peace Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson. Condolences to their families.

Paul McCartney: It’s so sad and shocking. I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy-man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones.

Eugene Lambert (Ireland's best puppeteer whose son performed at J's b-day party): Michael and the kids seemed to enjoy the show equally. My son sang happy birthday to Michael, who seemed genuinely touched by the attention. Michael rang me that night to thank me for the show. He said he hoped he’d be as happy at his work as I am at my age, and of course I’m 80.

Lenny Kravitz: It was the most amazing experience I’ve had in the studio. He was funny. Very funny and we laughed the whole time. I also saw what a beautiful father he was. He was a beautiful human being. If not for him, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. He gave me joy as a child and showed me the way to go..

Byron Garcia (security consultant at a Philippine prison who organized the famous video of 1,500 inmates doing a synchronized dance to “Thriller”, gathering 23.4 million hits): My heart is heavy because my idol died.

Imelda Marcos: Michael Jackson enriched our lives, made us happy. The accusations, the persecution caused him so much financial and mental anguish. He was vindicated in court, but the battle took his life. There is probably a lesson here for all of us.

Whatever some might think or say about him, he was undeniably an innovator, he influenced many artists and at the top of his career has simply the best. I hope that in his everlasting Neverland he’s no longer taunted by his own demons or cocky reporters..

Sources / More info: wikipedia (RO), wikipedia (EN), google news, rolling stones, yt

Michael Jackson: Live in Bucharest - The Dangerous Tour (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

Jackson, Michael: Video Greatest Hits: History (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

Jackson, Michael: Number Ones (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

1969-2004: Ultimate Collection [Best of] [Box set] (.CA, .UK, .FR, .DE, .JP, .cn)

Verba Volant,jackson, jacksons, michael, mort, jacksons 5, jacksons five, jackson 5, another one bites the dust, rip, r.i.p., requiescat in pace, rest in peace, obituar, obituary, infarct, heart attack, cardiac arest, atac de inima, atac de cord, pr, neverland, odihneasca-se in pace, michael jackson mort, wacko jacko, jacko, youtube, videos, video clips, documentary, documentare

The Hum strikes again

All over the world there are more and more reports of a strange phenomenon known as "the hum". I would simply dismiss it, but I myself have heard it just a few days ago.

Coincidente din Sclavie

I noticed, as I usually do, a few coincidences in slavery, so I hurry to share them with you. To read the translation, hover with your mouse.

Arabic and Anal Sex

Today I was going to tell some bloggers important things about life, but then I thought I put it here.

Final Mad Men caption challenge

Mad Men's blog at amc (the parent TV channel) is running the very last caption challenge. We contributed 3 entries and they're not showing up, so we decided to show them here instead.

Just as the first Mad Men Caption Challenge hearkened back to Season 1 via some office horseplay, so does this one -- and it's a twofer: Pete's rifle from "Red in the Face" and Betty's firepower in "Shoot." Have ideas as to what Pete and Betty might be talking about? Let us know in the comments section below with a memorable quip of ten words or less.

On Mon., Nov. 23, we'll narrow the submitted entries down to five selections. Readers will then vote for their favorite. On Wed., Nov. 25, we'll announce the winner who will receive a DesktopMad Men and a Season 2 poster; four runner-ups will each receive a Season 2 poster.

Here’s what I had 2 say:

November 19, 2009 5:11 PM: we're one step away from my trifecta..

November 19, 2009 5:14 PM: Go a-hem.. MAKE MY DAY! I mean, life.. hey, what an idea: we should both get one! I'm so-o-o forward-thinking :D

November 19, 2009 5:15 PM: You remind me of a certain Dick.. some 30 years into the future!

A friend of mine, stuck in Belgium, asked Facebook to intellectualize my blackness, so I decided to dedicate her 3 more quotes. I’m not sure guns are legal in Belgium, but Switzerland is not that far.

November 20, 2009 2:09 PM

Pete: You're about to hit "The Point of No Return"..
Bettie: I prefer "La Femme Nikita".
Pete: One thing's 4 sure: we're not in Venice anymore!

November 20, 2009 2:19 PM

Betty: Tell me again why we won't get quote.. I mean, caught.
Pete: Remember that thing with abundance of information making censorship unnecessary? We have 8 decoys ready to take the blame.. And then we'll kill whomever gets it!
Betty: Now THAT's reassuring..
Pete: Relax sugar, nobody ever blames a beautiful woman. Just think of Don and whatever warm, receptive orrifice he's in right now!

November 20, 2009 2:28 PM

Pete: .. Je n'ai pas encore l'information. Le contact sera visible dans 10 seconds.

Here’s the famous La Femme Nikita scene the last 3 were inspired from:

Finally, as I know you want even more of that funky horn, here’s all the thinking that went behind the camera work:

Even more videos and interviews in the playlist below!

Sources / More info: La Femme Nikita (97), Mad Men Final Challenge, az, vv, illustration by Dyna Moe of MadMenYourself, cam-twit, Robbins @ dm, retro, yt

VerbaVolant, madmen, mad men, mad mon, mad men fad fan

that b I f

I always thought that telling your stories is a good thing - not just for you, but also for those who might read them and either pleasure themselves or learn a thing or two. But it's mostly a good thing for you, i.e., myself.

the OK song

I'm gonna plant a 90s song in your head. It's made mostly by Kevin Krakower aka Kevi, and his "band", 1000 Clowns, which I keep remembering (when I do) as 10000 Clowns. Big difference between 1K and 10K, though the song can still be found, together with the history of it all.

Farmville infanticide

Recently, the Supreme Court has been debating suppressing violent games. There is clear evidence that they should be taking a closer look at the "innocent" Farmville (or, better yet, do nothing). We’re looking not only at Farmville, but also at South Korean game addictions and Supreme Comedy.

We do not believe that violent games cause violence anymore than so-called “click-games” the epitome of boredom and addiction on Facebook. As if to prove this assertion in the most vile manner, a Jacksonville Florida mother entered a guilty plea in the death of her son:

Alexandra V. Tobias, 22, was arrested after the January death of 3-month-old Dylan Lee Edmondson. She told investigators she became angry because the baby was crying while she was playing a computer game called FarmVille on the Facebook social-networking website. She told investigators the baby cried loudly as she played the game, which prosecutor Richard Mantei identified as FarmVille, a simulation game in which players raise crops and livestock with the help of Facebook friends.

Furthermore,

Tobias then put the baby on the couch and stepped out for a cigarette to regain her composure, the arrest report says. When she came back in, the family dog knocked the baby off the couch. The crying started again and Tobias shook the baby a second time before calling for an ambulance, the arrest report says. (..) She told the judge she'd graduated from high school. Court papers say she went to Samuel W. Wolfson Senior High School in Jacksonville. The paperwork also said Tobias did not have a job. (..) According to court records, her child abuse arrest violated a six-month probation she began serving just a few weeks before after pleading no contest to a domestic battery charge.

Farmville may have had other, even more counterintuitive effects. A story from just a few days ago in SeattleWeekly suggests that 27 y.o. Gary A. Veldhuizen from Ferndale, FarmVille player, pleaded guilty to raping a goat (i.e., bestiality):

The billy buggering took place at a farm near Enterprise Road at Willeys Lake Road in May. Apparently a family member caught Veldhuizen in mid-shag and called sheriff's deputies who came and arrested him. Veldhuizen's Facebook page shows the pudgy Ferndalian's love of ranch life extends to the virtual world as well, as he is a big fan of the game FarmVille. One of the more recent posts says he wants to "share some grape bushels with you."

Incidentally, Farmville has also other similar “click” games, one involving Mafia and organized crime, but that game has yet to result in someone’s death.

South Korea Online

Sad as it may be, this is not the first time addictive, non-violent games were involved in the death of children. Only a few months earlier, in February-March 2010, a South-Korean couple was arrested for starving their 3-month-old prematurely born daughter.

Once a day, between 12-hour stretches at a neighborhood Internet cafe, they fed their baby.  Instead of nurturing their own daughter, they became obsessed with raising a virtual child in the popular role-playing game called Prius Online. The couple were arrested in Suwon, a suburb of Seoul, 5 months after reporting the death of their baby.  The baby’s autopsy showed that she’d died due to a long period of malnutrition. (..) This is the dirty underbelly of South Korea’s fast and cheap Internet connections.  Over the last ten years, there have been many stories of Internet addiction and compulsive gaming leading to serious consequences and even death. In 2007, South Korea established an Internet addiction camp to help people overcome their addiction to the Internet.

According to PBS, in the more than 20000 Korean “PC Bangs” (i.e., Internet cafes), the more time you spend playing, the less you pay:

• Roughly 50 percent of South Koreans play games regularly, and 75 percent of gamers prefer online games
• Currently, the most played game in Korean "PC bangs" (Internet cafes) is Aion, a massively multiplayer online role playing game. It is due for release in the U.S. in fall 2009.
• In December 2008, the Korean government announced it would invest $237 million in the game industry to help expand gaming exports, which topped $1 billion for the first time in 2008.
• The South Korean online games market is expected to exceed $1.7 billion by the end of 2009
• Korea hosted the first Global Online Game Awards in 2008
• One-third of South Korea's population of 48 million has registered to play the game KartRider at least once
• Video game consoles, such as Sony PlayStation or Nintendo Wii, are less popular than PC games, in part because of widely available broadband Internet and a previous ban on Japanese cultural imports.

In 2005, a 28-year-old Korean man died after playing Starcraft almost non-stop for 50 hours. He inspired (or was he inspired by) the South Park WoW episode. He had just been fired for playing games too much. The government solution is Jump Up Internet Rescue School, a boot camp to cure online gaming addiction. According to New York Times,

South Korea boasts of being the most wired nation on earth. In fact, perhaps no other country has so fully embraced the Internet. Ninety percent of homes connect to cheap, high-speed broadband, online gaming is a professional sport, and social life for the young revolves around the “PC bang,” dim Internet parlors that sit on practically every street corner. (..) Up to 30 percent of South Koreans under 18, or about 2.4 million people, are at risk of Internet addiction, said Ahn Dong-hyun, a child psychiatrist at Hanyang University in Seoul who just completed a three-year government-financed survey of the problem. (..) To address the problem, the government has built a network of 140 Internet-addiction counseling centers, in addition to treatment programs at almost 100 hospitals and, most recently, the Internet Rescue camp, which started this summer. Researchers have developed a checklist for diagnosing the addiction and determining its severity, the K-Scale. (The K is for Korea.)

NYT offers even insight into how such addictions get started:

One participant, Lee Chang-hoon, 15, began using the computer to pass the time while his parents were working and he was home alone. He said he quickly came to prefer the virtual world, where he seemed to enjoy more success and popularity than in the real one. He spent 17 hours a day online, mostly looking at Japanese comics and playing a combat role-playing game called Sudden Attack. He played all night, and skipped school two or three times a week to catch up on sleep. When his parents told him he had to go to school, he reacted violently. Desperate, his mother, Kim Soon-yeol, sent him to the camp. “He didn’t seem to be able to control himself,” said Mrs. Kim, a hairdresser. “He used to be so passionate about his favorite subjects” at school. “Now, he gives up easily and gets even more absorbed in his games.” Her son was reluctant at first to give up his pastime. “I don’t have a problem,” Chang-hoon said in an interview three days after starting the camp. “Seventeen hours a day online is fine.” But later that day, he seemed to start changing his mind, if only slightly.

The Supremes

In USA and especially California, addiction is not seen as a problem. The “problem” is solely violent games. Recently, the Governator signed a strict law to control game violence, a law eventually appealed by a Game producers association all the way to the Supreme Court. The hearings were, according to the Hollywood reporter, cause for comedy:

1. Justice Alito getting a sly dig at his colleague over "original intent" in the U.S. Constitution: "I think what Justice Scalia wants to know is what James Madison thought about video games. Did he enjoy them?"
2. Justice Kagan, the junior member of the high court, trying to show she's hip: "You think Mortal Kombat is prohibited by this statute? It's a candidate, meaning, a reasonable jury could find that Mortal Kombat, which is an iconic game, which I am sure half of the clerks who work for us spent considerable amount of time in their adolescence playing."
3. Justice Breyer creating, excuse the pun, a tortured metaphor about a 13-year-old playing video games depicting violence: "I have tried to take as bad a [scenario] as I could think of, gratuitous torture of children. OK. Now, you can't buy a naked woman, but you can go and buy that, you say to the 13-year-old. Now, what sense is there to that?"
4. Justice Scalia muses about whether it would be a good thing to let juries act as censors: "Juries are not controllable. That's the wonderful thing about juries, also the worst thing about juries."
5. Just about anything out of the mouth of Justice Sotomayor, including these questions:

• "One of the studies, the Anderson study, says that the effect of violence is the same for a Bugs Bunny episode as it is for a violent video. So can the legislature now, because it has that study, say we can outlaw Bugs Bunny?"
• "Could you get rid of rap music? Have you heard some of the lyrics of some of the rap music...?"
• "Would a video game that portrayed a Vulcan as opposed to a human being, being maimed and tortured, would that be covered by the act?"
• "So if the video producer says this is not a human being, it's an android computer simulated person, then all they have to do is put a little artificial feature on the creature and they could sell the video game?"
• "What happens when the character gets maimed, head chopped off and immediately after it happens they spring back to life and they continue their battle? Is that covered by your act?"

It seems to me that Schwarzenegger, though not a big fan of such a law, signed it stating “children must be protected” not because he believes that, but rather because he thinks that reason is unconvincing for parents. All hopes that such ill-conceived legislation will be stopped so that it does not push game development to Asia rest now with the Supreme Court.

Video: PBS: Digital Nation: Life on the Virtual Frontier, 1 Game Too Many, sp-mlnw, sp-s10e08-inside

Sources / More info: [yt-fv-parody], [yt-fv-tr], [yt-h8-fv], [yt-h8-fv], [yt-h8-fv], [yt-fv-prblm], [yt-h8-fv], [yt-h8-fv], [Supreme Court], SC-hearing, Jacksonville-mom, jacksonville-sentencing, huff-j, /.-exodus, /.-sc, atlantic-arnold, nxtwb-sk, st-kd, nyt-kbc, gzm-bsy, Kogia-study, wiki-lv,notwc, sw-veldhuizen, fb-veldhuizen, bbc-spanish-piglet

VerbaVolant, farmville, violence, game, games, online, online games, supreme court, supremes, mmog, mmorpg, massive multiplayer, massively multiplayer, schwartzenegger

puttycat fail archive

Sometimes, when dealing with an apparently normal person, we might tend to forget the full complexity of their personality. If your engagement with the said person is unilateral, as it is usually the case with a public persona, you don't need to know more than what they publish or allow to be published in the public sphere. If, however, you engage with someone on a more personal level, sometimes you need to remind yourself of who you're dealing with..

Europe wealthiest, like a French suicide

If you're like me, you're almost conditioned to whisper "fries" the moment someone says French (you might also say kiss, but that usually happens when you're close to losing your virginity; I'm not).

Boston Consulting Group is elbowing out Forbes magazine with wealth statistics and hierarchies, claiming that Europe has elbowed out North America to become the wealthiest region in the world, which happens first since 2003. Here’s the numbers:

World’s wealth is down to USD 92.4-trillion in 2008 from 104.7-trillion in the previous year, trend side-stepped by Latin America, which is the only region where assets under management increased 3%. Though millionaire households fell by 17.8% to 9 million, USA still has the most millionaire households – nearly 4 million. Singapore rules in terms of concentration of millionaires, with 8.5% of households being there. Europe’s Singapore, from this perspective, is Switzerland, which also is world’s largest offshore centre. Apparently, wealth has started to grow again at the end of 2008, will increase about 4% p.a. and will catch up with pre-crisis levels in 2013.

Interestingly, Europe has become the wealthiest just as the poor narrowed the gap, say WSJ:

The crisis also narrowed the gap between the wealthy and non-wealthy, with wealth owned by households with less than $100,000 in assets increasing by 2% last year, but declining in all other segments.

Europe nudged ahead because it only fell 5.8% (which compares positively to North America’s 21.8%). This is most likely because North America (USA+Canada) have the most wealth in stocks.

You might wonder (I did!) what are the Europeans doing with their new wealth?

You wanna make it / Suicide France

There have been 22 suicides at France Telecom since 2008 and 13 attempts. This has prompted CEO Didier Lombard to claim he will do everything he could to “stop the infernal spiral”.

The unions blame chronic restructuring and work pressure at France Telecom for the wave of suicides, saying that some staffers are being left behind in the firm's transformation from a staid government agency to a private company with profit targets and intense competition. The pace of incidents at the firm which employees 102,000 staff in France, has picked up lately, with a man stabbing himself in the stomach during a staff meeting on Wednesday and a woman throwing herself out of a window on Friday, the company said. (…) France Telecom also announced other measures, such as a temporary halt to relocations and reassignments as well as 100 additional human resources staffers to monitor employees.

Suicides are definitely bad for business, unless they are a song by INXS. For example, when Gary Hoy - the Toronto lawyer who won a Darwin Award for throwing himself against windows until one gave in – died, his firm also eventually closed shop. I guess it just wasn’t the same without him.

The jump from death to sex is small. The French actually make it very often – perhaps top five in Europe – calling orgasm “the little death”. So it should come as no surprise that the Swiss (who include a sizable French and German speaking population) have combined cadavers and sex in a show..

Gunther von Hagens and his wife Angelina Whalley show corpses prepared using a technique invented by von Hagens called "plastination," that removes water from specimens and preserves them with silicon rubber or epoxy resin. "It's not my intention to show certain sexual poses. My goal is really to show the anatomy and the function," Body Worlds creative director Whalley told Reuters in an interview, adding the sex exhibition may open next year.

USA tightens the screw

While the Swiss indulge in the confluence of their national fetishes, prudish USA indulges its own favourite pastime: bacteria obsessions and denying help to the poor because of sexual hang-ups.

The guys in the image went to ACORN, a poverty advocacy group dressed like conservatives pimp & prostitute. Though they are certainly dressed weird, if I were to see them on the street I’d be thinking they’re trying their Halloween costumes early. To me, they are unconvincing, but then again, I don’t meet pimps and prostitutes all the time. If they were to walk into my office, I’d think that they’re playing a prank and it’s a test. I might even think that it’s a test done by leftists (or “liberals”, as some call them), so I’d play along accordingly

It seems that many conservatives had a beef with ACORN, whom they accused of voter fraud because this group canvassed and help many of the poor register to vote.

O'Keefe, who majored in philosophy at Rutgers University, said he and Giles funded the project themselves. This kind of undercover, guerrilla tactic is the "future of investigative journalism and political activism," he said. Inspired by "Rules for Radicals," Saul Alinsky's bible for rabble-rousing, more often associated with the left, O'Keefe said he has been targeting and exposing the "absurdities of the enemy by employing their own rules and language." "If you can make impossible demands on your enemy, you can destroy them," he said. So he began using a hidden camera "in a location I'd rather not disclose" and started visiting ACORN offices around the Northeast.

See their video below.

As for getting clean, the shower scene, so overused in horror movies, has now a newfound lease on life: germs lurking in the showerhead can give you lung infections. Apparently, an analysis of 50 showerheads from 9 US cities done by University of Colorado at Boulder found that about 30% harboured high levels of Mycobacterium avium. After scaring almost every American, they declared:

"This really shouldn't concern average, healthy people. The main concern is for people who are immune-compromised," researcher Leah Feazel told Reuters Health. The findings, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Monday, are based on tests of about 50 showerheads taken from nine U.S. cities, including New York, Denver and Chicago. The researchers said showerheads are not the only potential bacterial dispersants in the home, however. Feazel said more research is needed to measure bacteria levels in household devices like humidifiers and evaporative coolers.

Sources / More info: france-suicide, gm-europe-wealthiest, pimp-hooker-nyp, telegraph-mit-rickrolled, wsj-europe, wiki-garry-hoy, us-showerheads, suicide-blonde-INXS

Verba Volant,europe, europa, european, wealth, economy, economic crisis, tradeoff, trading block, eec, nafta, france, french kiss, french

sexting

I recently had an SMS conversation about sex with someone and I thought I'd better post it here, for the world to see. OK, not the whole world, but rather the 3-4 people who read this blog.

Closet-minded people

1). So what really happened?

The thief forced his way into her apartment, she made him a cup of tea, then listened sympathetically to his life story for about 20 minutes. Entertained, she gave him 10000 yen ($100) then ran outside to call the Police from a pay phone, presumably leaving the baby with the thief. I am just as confused as you are.

This is not the only time Japanese has been in the news with a woman in a very strange situation. At the end of May, 2008, we learned about a 58 y.o. woman who lived hidden in a small closet in a 58 y.o man’s house FOR A YEAR (2). That man became suspicious after food disappeared from the fridge, so he installed a surveillance system, filming her as she walked around his house in his absence. I always suspected that that Japanese horror flick with the house that kills, taking the shape of a woman, was based on reality. Was that woman also living a secret fantasy? Were they, unbeknownst to him, masturbating simultaneously? Hard to tell. Still, old people in Japan have significant difficulties surviving. Their society sees people who have to depend on others as deadweight, and being unable to provide for yourself is a great shame. Many people die of hunger rather than apply to be on welfare and when they apply they are often rejected (3).

If you think that only Japanese women can inspire horror movies, you’re wrong. David Joe Limones (4), 27, from Newburgh, NY, carved a hole into a 22 y.o. woman’s couch and hid in it, waited for her to come home, to emerge from there as she sat on him, while talking to a friend on the phone. Apparently, she was on the phone with a friend because she felt he might be hiding there and she had filed a complaint about him before (???!!!).

This reminds me of one of my favourite beer commercials. At a costume party, a sexy blonde sits on a comfy couch. Two weirdoes in costumes sat by her side, trying to seduce her. She’s not interested, and changes positions several times. Eventually, she stands up departing, leaving the two bozos behind. As she goes, we see that the couch was actually some happy dude in a couch costume. He then opens up a beer, the source of all his power, intellect, inspiration and creativity.

Feeling the couch moving underneath you is bad enough, but having a baby bat in your 34FF bra could make you feel sorry for disturbing it. At least that’s what Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, UK said.

“It looked cosy and comfortable and I was sorry for disturbing it,” she said.

She was sitting at her desk at work when she decided to investigate the strange movements in her underwear. “I put my hand down my bra and pulled out a cuddly little bat. Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.”

“That shocked me very much at the time, but it scuttled off under the desk into the dark. I was shaking from head to toe.

“It looked quite cosy and comfortable in there so it was quite rude of me to take it out.

“When I realised it was a bat the first thing that occurred to me was how did it get in there.

“I felt quite sorry for it. Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.

“I did not notice anything as I put my bra on. The night before I had had one or two drinks and I was getting ready quickly.

“The bra was in my drawer but it had been on the washing line the day before.

“When I was driving to work, I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket.”

The bat was captured by one of her colleagues and released.

Sometimes, it’s news like this that make you want to use the toilet. And if you’re in southern India, in the Tamil Nadu state, the government will pay you to use the toilet (5):

It pays to use a toilet in southern India, as residents are earning close to a dollar a month by using public urinals, a scheme launched by authorities to promote hygiene and research in rural areas.

Dozens of people are queuing up to use toilets in Musiri, a remote town in Tamil Nadu state, where authorities have succeeded in keeping street corners clean with the new scheme, The Times of India newspaper said on Sunday.

“In fact, many of us started using toilets for urination only after the ecosan (ecological sanitation) toilets were constructed in the area,” said S. Rajasekaran, a truck cleaner.

The urine was also being collected and tested for its efficacy as a crop fertilizer, an official of the state’s agricultural university added.

People relieving themselves in the open is a common sight in India’s rural towns and villages, as basic sanitation still eludes millions.

Sources
1. http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0818516620080708
2. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7426950.stm
3. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/asia/12japan.html
4. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/man_in_couch
5. http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSDEL30766120080707

Cracanel, closed-minded, closed mind, absent mind, humour

why you're still single and what to do about it

Recently, I came across an article about a woman's attempts to date successfully at 41. There's some advice from a "dating coach" that anyone could use.

omagimaakos in Northern Ontario

A dog found a really ugly animal in a creek. How ugly? Just find out!

The animal is indeed ugly, but that doesn’t necessarily make it “unnatural”.

Photos of a strange creature pulled from a northern Ontario creek have become a worldwide sensation, even though the body has since washed away.

But the tiny First Nations community at the centre of the water monster story is apparently not willing to give up the attention, as residents conducted a second search in as many days for evidence of the elusive beast they call “omagimaakos” - or “the ugly one.” On Friday, boaters took to area waterways around the tiny community of Kitchenuhmaykoosib Inninuwug, near the shores of Hudson Bay, hoping to catch one.

Photos of the hairy, foot-long creature - with a bald face and paws, glazed eyes, warthog-like mouth, and a rat's tail - were posted on the community's website and quickly went viral. According to the website, a dog that was walking with its owners - a pair of nurses who work for the federal government - pulled the animal from a creek earlier this month.

Darryl Sainnawap, a local band councillor, said the body of the creature is no longer at the side of the creek where it was left after the photos were taken. “It was already dead a while when those photos were taken, so it was just left there,” Sainnawap said. “I guess the dogs or seagulls got at it. Or it just washed away.” The nurse who took the photos wouldn't talk to media. He said he's a government employee and not allowed to discuss it. The animal is being linked to mythological creatures like the Loch Ness Monster and Ogopogo, though many observers have already guessed it's more likely a waterlogged bear cub or otter.

According to the residents of the community, this isn't the first sighting of the legendary omagimaakos. Sainnawap says his great-uncle came across a similar animal in the 1950s. “It's very rare. It lives in creeks and swampy areas and is said to feed on beavers,” Sainnawap said.

The boaters haven't found an omagimaakos this week, but that might be for the best. “My great-uncle was told by his grandfather that a sighting of the omagimaakos is an omen that bad things will happen,” Sainnawap said. “So we'll have to see about that.”

Why are we so attracted by ugliness and the most morbid manifestations of life?

Sources / More info: sun-creature

VerbaVolant, animal, dead, ontario, creek, dog, find, bear, cub, beaver