Closet-minded people

1). So what really happened?

The thief forced his way into her apartment, she made him a cup of tea, then listened sympathetically to his life story for about 20 minutes. Entertained, she gave him 10000 yen ($100) then ran outside to call the Police from a pay phone, presumably leaving the baby with the thief. I am just as confused as you are.

This is not the only time Japanese has been in the news with a woman in a very strange situation. At the end of May, 2008, we learned about a 58 y.o. woman who lived hidden in a small closet in a 58 y.o man’s house FOR A YEAR (2). That man became suspicious after food disappeared from the fridge, so he installed a surveillance system, filming her as she walked around his house in his absence. I always suspected that that Japanese horror flick with the house that kills, taking the shape of a woman, was based on reality. Was that woman also living a secret fantasy? Were they, unbeknownst to him, masturbating simultaneously? Hard to tell. Still, old people in Japan have significant difficulties surviving. Their society sees people who have to depend on others as deadweight, and being unable to provide for yourself is a great shame. Many people die of hunger rather than apply to be on welfare and when they apply they are often rejected (3).

If you think that only Japanese women can inspire horror movies, you’re wrong. David Joe Limones (4), 27, from Newburgh, NY, carved a hole into a 22 y.o. woman’s couch and hid in it, waited for her to come home, to emerge from there as she sat on him, while talking to a friend on the phone. Apparently, she was on the phone with a friend because she felt he might be hiding there and she had filed a complaint about him before (???!!!).

This reminds me of one of my favourite beer commercials. At a costume party, a sexy blonde sits on a comfy couch. Two weirdoes in costumes sat by her side, trying to seduce her. She’s not interested, and changes positions several times. Eventually, she stands up departing, leaving the two bozos behind. As she goes, we see that the couch was actually some happy dude in a couch costume. He then opens up a beer, the source of all his power, intellect, inspiration and creativity.

Feeling the couch moving underneath you is bad enough, but having a baby bat in your 34FF bra could make you feel sorry for disturbing it. At least that’s what Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, UK said.

“It looked cosy and comfortable and I was sorry for disturbing it,” she said.

She was sitting at her desk at work when she decided to investigate the strange movements in her underwear. “I put my hand down my bra and pulled out a cuddly little bat. Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.”

“That shocked me very much at the time, but it scuttled off under the desk into the dark. I was shaking from head to toe.

“It looked quite cosy and comfortable in there so it was quite rude of me to take it out.

“When I realised it was a bat the first thing that occurred to me was how did it get in there.

“I felt quite sorry for it. Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.

“I did not notice anything as I put my bra on. The night before I had had one or two drinks and I was getting ready quickly.

“The bra was in my drawer but it had been on the washing line the day before.

“When I was driving to work, I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket.”

The bat was captured by one of her colleagues and released.

Sometimes, it’s news like this that make you want to use the toilet. And if you’re in southern India, in the Tamil Nadu state, the government will pay you to use the toilet (5):

It pays to use a toilet in southern India, as residents are earning close to a dollar a month by using public urinals, a scheme launched by authorities to promote hygiene and research in rural areas.

Dozens of people are queuing up to use toilets in Musiri, a remote town in Tamil Nadu state, where authorities have succeeded in keeping street corners clean with the new scheme, The Times of India newspaper said on Sunday.

“In fact, many of us started using toilets for urination only after the ecosan (ecological sanitation) toilets were constructed in the area,” said S. Rajasekaran, a truck cleaner.

The urine was also being collected and tested for its efficacy as a crop fertilizer, an official of the state’s agricultural university added.

People relieving themselves in the open is a common sight in India’s rural towns and villages, as basic sanitation still eludes millions.

Sources
1. http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0818516620080708
2. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7426950.stm
3. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/asia/12japan.html
4. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/man_in_couch
5. http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSDEL30766120080707

Cracanel, closed-minded, closed mind, absent mind, humour